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If you’re reading this, you are lucky!

14 Mar

I’m a lucky guy! So are you if you’re reading this!

Economic recession? Wallet’s tight? Putting in those extra hours for that extra “bling”? Higher interest rates? Boss putting an insane amount of pressure on your head? Feel like you have nothing left? You’re done?

Well if you’re reading this, then none of the above are actually an existential crisis for you. You reading this means – you have a computer/ laptop/ phone, a working Internet connection, electricity, you’ve had a meal already and positively a roof over your head. Also like me you have a lovely family, some great buddies and people who support you.

For numerous folk these are fairy tale scene. Getting a glass of fresh water to drink is a blessing for people in drought stricken regions, a morsel of clean food, a gift for a populace in the famine ravaged regions of the world. For others in war ravaged regions, home is but two stilts acting as a support for a sheet of plastic. This just puts our position in a diametrically opposite perspective where our lives are secure, warm and all fuzzy. Now, it would only seem apt to be overly satisfied with what we have and how much we have. Privilege is what we have in the face of the adversity the world is facing everyday.

In the ever growing age of desire, marketing, advertising and peer pressure, we give in to it! Everyone is after the next “IT” thing! And this we reflect sometimes on our children.

There are a couple of things I’m currently working on, one of them would be to simplify life; take out all the unnecessary, don’t let in this stuff in my life again. Appreciate all that I have material and otherwise, with latter being the more important of the two! A deeply caring and loving family I can always fall back on.

Another, to pass this on to my daughter.I’m having a growing daughter at home, making things difficult by wasting water, food etc. These are the moments forbearing on a parent. It sometimes cannot be ignored simply because the child starts throwing tantrums; it is then with utmost restraint we need to teach them, explain it to them how fortunate enough we are to have things which a vast section of mankind doesn’t know if such a thing were to exist.

There are simple things I try to appreciate; a sunrise, the early morning sounds of birds, my daughter’s calling. Simplify.

Newton said “Nature is pleased with simplicity.” But then Da Vinci comes a close second to mind, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

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2 Years of Daddy-ism!! (-:

24 Apr

2:47 PM, May 7th, 2010…tensed emotions…slowly the door opens, the doctor calls for the first time – “The Father” and I’m already breaking down…the nurse holds her up and the doctor says – “You have a girl…” The first thing I do holding back my emotions, I say the Almighty’s name in her ears…blessing her and feeling blessed…she is kicking about, feeling uncomfortable, losing the warmth of the embryo…Amritha! Amritha! I keep saying to myself…rush to my wife; she is still under anaesthetic effects, grip her hands…words don’t escape us, but we understand each other perfectly well; a kiss on her forehead, and the gynaecologist chases me out…spend a few very joyous moments with my brother and father…secretly we know amma has returned!! I’m rushing behind the nurse with my daughter who gives her a wash, puts a small tag on her hand with “B/O Sowmya”…my wait extends a bit longer as she carries the baby to the ward where her mother is waiting…then a moment everyone waits for…Amritha is handed over to me…it doesn’t matter if you’ve held a baby or not your entire life, at that moment you will; like a pre-programmed mechanism you will gently nurse the baby in your arms…and secretly a tear escapes me…

This entire sequence of events I have been closing my eyes and playing everyday since that wonderful day; just so that I don’t forget the amazing feeling of becoming a father…such powerful, strong emotions…even now as I blog about it…every father will know and connect to this…if I could freeze time that one moment when the doctor said – “The father”, and I see Amritha!!! These are the moments, events that make up life…give meaning to everything that you’ve put into life, a purpose to everything that you’ve put into life…

Amritha will be two years old in a short time from now; time puts forth its very fundamental lesson – “I don’t wait for anyone or anything”

I try to keep reminding myself of the times when the nappies were changed at night, of the cries, of the first times she experienced everything – of her first winter, of her first summer, of her first fall, of her first syllables, her first laughs, of her first smiles, her first steps…her first attempts at calling me “Appa” and Sowmya, “Amma”…every moment has been a magical one…Babies, children always manage to do that…with all their innocence and unconditional love, they make you feel blessed…

Now she speaks fluently, conveys things, has her perspective of things, leaves me surprised at times with the things she does and sometimes doesn’t…she’ll suddenly come running hold both my legs, hug me tight…asks me to carry her and hugs me tight and says Appa, pats me on the cheeks and smiles…sometimes there’s a wave of emotions gushing down…” so much love?”, i ask myself…there just needs to be a fraction of this love in all of us, the world will be a much better place…

There are over a thousand photos of her, a sizeable amount of video footage and a few audio clips…what is missing is an emotion recorded…where I can record mine and show them to Amritha…how lucky me and Sowmya are to have we…God bless Amritha, God bless all…

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Unfolding of a father – daughter relationship

8 Aug

This i blog as i sit beside my daughter, who is sleeping for a while now at ease and at peace; it’s been over a year since she entered our lives and changed it for the better and for the rest of our lives. Every day since the day she was born, I have been thanking my good fortune for her arrival. Blessed are we to have a daughter like her and i know there couldn’t be one better – this i have realized the day she was born and this i will remember forever.

In a year she has taught me a thing too many; first and foremost patience and that too lots of it. There are certain things that need to go at their own pace and she will be one of them; there’s no point rushing with it and flowing with her pace will only make the journey all the more enjoyable. The times that she is unwell, the times that she is disturbed, all that she demands is tender loving care and nothing material. In our journey of life, as we grow older we lose this innocence and our desires turn materialistic when all that we are basically looking for is forgotten – love. She has taught me that and for reasons like this i am thankful for having a baby. She won’t need anything, just needs me to carry her sing her a song or two and she will be in pure bliss. Our lives have been way too complicated when compared to this; it’s never so simple, it’s always the next best thing in the market that we are looking for – also the case with me…slowly i see this changing and i know its for good…

When i first carried her over a year ago the joy was inexpressible, a joy only a father can have…it’s a relationship like no other; it has a divine touch and she’s as good as any angel can be…every time her tiny hands reach out for me, every time there is a voice calling out for me, it’s as though a special blessing has been granted on me…all those nights when she cries out of pain and discomfort and you put her to sleep, you will find the most innocent, most delicate pairs of hands yearning for you…

Now that she has begun calling me “Appa” its all the more better; it’s one of the first things i get to hear every morning and that pretty much makes my day…she loves licking some coffee off my cup everyday morning and i in return get a hug and a kiss from her; that is all i want…what i experience every moment of this is pure, innocent, unquestioning love; isn’t that what we all finally crave for, what the heart wants? She lights up every day of mine when i return from work…she and my wife smiling and waiting for me and no matter how tough the day has been, this sight offers me redemption from that…

From deep within my heart i hope these are just beginnings to a new journey; i have savored every moment of life’s journey my dad, my mom, my brother, my friends, my wife they have all been wonderful ingredients in the dish life dished out and my daughter now is that wonderful seasoning adding extra flavor and zing to it!

Amritha just so that you know when you read this, i am so much blessed to have you as a part of me, your love is here for all to see…

God bless!

I’m a daddy!!

7 Jun

14:47 PM on the 7th of May, 2010 was one of those defining moments in my life…i for one became a dad; to a beautiful daughter an angel of sorts, bundle of joy and amazement…that precise moment when i touched her tiny fingers when i whispered the almighty’s name into her ears an enormous sense of responsibility, love, caring enveloped me like never before…it was a wonderful feeling; a feeling of eternal bliss…

So what has changed now? Well almost everything…i now am the least option in my life with my wife and daughter being at the forefront of everything that i do, that i think…i am a thief at my own home quietly scrambling around from one place to another…almost one month old, she has put into me what other people have tried a lot…PATIENCE…and i guess i will be needing more of it in the coming months…also there is a sense of responsibility now prevailing with me every moment of my life…that i guess is what only being a parent can feel…and it does feel good…

Some wonderful things i enjoy are singing her some slow songs to put her to sleep, watch her fall asleep and make wonderful expressions smiling, frowning and sometimes attempting to speak but ends up making soft wonderful tones…she has managed to wet my clothes a few times now, but from the past few days i get the hint of it and have managed to beat her to it, seriously dont know how long i’m going to keep ahead of her as she is always finding new ways of doing it :) i just cant help but smile whenever she does that and gives me a naive look…and she wont let me or her mum change our nappies without giving a good fight kicking and shoving our hands…

Life now is chugging along with her as the engine pulling me and my wife in the direction she wants to go :)

God bless…

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